As a disclaimer, this is not about anyone in particular in my life, just a general observation of people around me. I say this because in the past when people have read stuff of mine in blogs online, they instantly think it's all about them, and want to know what other issues I may have with them and all that utter bullshit. Seriously, get over yourself, your world may revolve around you, but mine doesn't.
I for one like to think I am fairly tolerant of other people. In fact I'd say I'm highly tolerant. To people's faces. The fact that you're the most immature twat I've ever met, and right now I'd eally love to stab you in the neck, doesn't come across in any of my dialogue when dealing with people. However I sometimes think it would be worth going home, making a voodoo doll and stabbing it repeatedly until I can be sure you will no longer blemish the planet with your existance. Of course, this is not my usual reaction, and I'll instead just endeavour to avoid conversation with you in the future.
My favourite pet hate is the lazy person. However this particular lazy person is not just ANY kind of lazy person, albeit a normal lazy person that doesn't do any of the groupwork at uni will shit me up the wall. Oh no, this lazy person is the kind of person that complains. About being lazy.
They may not be complaining about being lazy in the total literal sense, but I'm sure you all know what I mean. The kind of person that just can't quite get a grasp of life, and how it works. The kind of person that does things slowly, and by things I mean changes themselves. I know sometimes it is quite hard to break bad habits, but COME ON!! There is a LINE, it is firmly drawn in the sand, if you are incapable of surviving in the real world, natural selection will come up and bite you on the arse. I'm not the model student, that's for sure, in fact, I highly recommend never basing your study habits on mine. I don't go to morning lectures most weeks, because honestly, I can't be fucked, I get stuff handed in on time, barely. However I pass everything, because I take a bit of time to go over the course material I've missed. And if I fail, I sure as shit don't blame the lecture notes that have been posted online, I kick myself fair and square in the arse, tell myself to go to class, and then I just do what I always do. Drink.
BUT!! I don't sit there doing any of these things: Qualifying my actions, making excuses, blaming other people, or worse THINGS, or telling myself its ok, I will eventually get to the point where I'm a student that turns up every day. I just do what I do, knowing that in the end, when I graduate, I won't have burnt myself out, and I'll probably turn up to work, because I'll get paid for that. OOOOO money, the root of all evil.
It's people who do those things listed above that really shit me. For example, a video game addict, loses their girlfriend because they, well, spend too much time on various consoles. They then blame the console and not themselves. This kind of behaviour is not only unconstructive, it also shows how immature this kind of person really is. Is it the consoles fault you spent all your time playing Mortal Combat 3 or whatever the new fucking awesome game out is? No, I don't think it is. If you had made a conscious choice to spend some time with your woman, maybe you'd still have her. Then again, maybe you wouldn't because she'd leave for some other, more than likely, fair and reasonable reason.
It's the same concept as someone who is lactose intolerant eating a block of cheese, and drinking two litres of full cream milk, getting sick and then saying "OHHHHHHHH the dairy made me siiiiiiick." Yeah, no. You made you sick, learn dickhead, or die. Please. I would really like to eradict the idiot gene by the year 2150 from the human race.
Then of course there's the classic pet hate of mine, the adult child. This person usually encompasses, some or all of the personality traits of the above scenario, however they are much.. much worse. These people tend to lack the ability to dress themselves, without a physical or mental disorder causing this problem. These people are perfectly capable of looking after themselves, they are just to lazy. And most likely, they complain about it, qualify how their going to learn slowly etc etc etc. Got news for you buddy, society ain't gonna slow the fuck down to accomodate you, I suggest you grow up quick and fast because mummy ain't here to wipe your arse. Of course, there are people with genuine reasons for having to transition into, or back into the way society works. Whether it be they're recovering from a physical illnes (hell I've been there), or dealing with some post traumatic streessor, there are cases when I can kind of sympathise with people in this situation.
But, again, there is a line. If you're capable of studying, you're capable of working. If you're capable of eating, you're capable of cooking food for yourself. If you're capable of shit, you sure as hell better be capable of wiping your own fucking arse. Because quite frankly, I have spent the last 23 years getting to where I am now, being a fully functioning human being, where I can take responsibilty for my own actions, and my own life, and I sure as shit don't want to baby someone to the point I'm at because they're "fragile" or whatever. I deal with these kinds of people at Uni, at work, socialising. It's annoying. If you want to engage in self destructive behaviour, do it. I can guarantee you, not very many people have the time or resources to bail people out of these situations these days, and its a rare opportunity when someone can. I'm currently embarking on one of these opportunities, as is one of my close friends. We have been given the opportunity to save a bit of cash, while living with some friends. I am more than grateful for this opportunity, as is my other mate, it's just these people that... don't care.
For example, let's say you were given the opportunity to save some money, by crashing in someones spare room for a few months, would you a) buy a PS3 or b) save up some bond and furniture money, and obtain a place of your own as soon as you could. I know which one I'd be doing, and am doing.
So I guess in a nutshell, what I'm saying is this: be as lazy as you fucking want, I really don't care, as long as it doesn't affect me, adn as long as you don't come to me for help when your down, because I sure as shit ain't putting my life on hold to wait for a minority of people to catch up, who in a more primitive society, would have been knocked out by natural selection.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Friends
There seem to be lots of variations on the meaning of the word "friend".
A friend could be someone you turn to in time of need, someone who goes out drinking with you even if they don't like the place your drinking. They could be someone that you have very similar interests with, and similar hobbies. They could be a family member, a school mate, a work colleague or any random person on the street.
There is the infamous "best friend".
Then there are times when that friendship moves on to the next level, and you become "more than friends".
More often than not, your friends, will have other friends. Sometimes you get along with these other circles, sometimes you think, that if given the chance, you would punch the living daylights out of each person one by one, just for the mere satisfaction of bringing them down a peg or two, (note, this is usually an occurence when one of your friends floats between social status circles, and you're the "underdog" and this other group thinks they have it over you).
Then you have those friends that you are embarassed to introduce to your tight knit circles. I am usually this friend, not that its a bad thing. I'm just loud, obnoxious, a smartarse and my shame is non-existant. This can make for some awkward meetings, not for me, but for others, because quite frankly, I don't give a shit.
However, events in the not so recent past have forced me, to redefine my definition of a friend.
Where do lines of friendship begin and end? How do we define when these lines are crossed, or jumped up and down on? How do we, as people, define what and who is truly our friend?
So often do I go to uni, or work, and socialise with my affectionately labeled friends. Some of these I would consider a closer friend than others. Some I just class as a friend because we have the same friends. However I have always prided myself on having a few, close, select friends, with whom my trust and loyalty is permanently embedded in the friendship.
Or so I thought.
This is where the "friend line" needs to be drawn. What can one consider a fair and just line to draw in the friendship sand when building a friendship? Most people I talk to say that friendship is built on trust, loyalty, reliability, and a special form of friend love.
This friend love is unique, and once in a blue moon, can form in real love, but thats another story for another day.
My friend line is drawn in the sand, with these things in mind. As well as confidence and privacy.
For example, if a friend came to me, with boyfriend troubles, the last thing I would do is talk to my other friends about it. Hell, not even the significant other would hear about it unless I needed some advice on how to guide her through her tough time.
Apparently, this loyalty and trust is fast becoming a thing of the past. I have had to rid myself of people around me, whom I cannot place my trust in. Why? Because they were relaying everything going on in my life, not only to their significant other, who works with my significant other, and enjoys stirring shit, but ALL their other friends, who either A) don't know me or B) decided long ago I was some waste of time. The quote "just tell her to fuck off" comes to mind, as something this supposed friend was told by one of her mates, in regards to issues I was having but she couldn't "deal with".
Looking back on it all, I wonder why I thought I was any different to any of her other friends. Her excuse for telling her beloved? "We share everything". Well, that's fine, but that doesn't give you the right to share MY everything with the cock.
She used to tell me all her other friends problems as well. Although, if I spoke to her (merely to get something off my chest), it was "I don't need to hear this, I don't know this person" etc etc. What and you think I care that your speaking to someone whom you have less respect for than you have for me? I really don't want to hear all your other friends problems either, but you lay them out on me all the time.
Perhaps it was because I labelled this particualr person as my best friend, that I failed to see, that I was placed in the same basket as everyone else in her books. Just someone to hang out with when noone else was available, someone to bitch about to all her other friends, and someone to stab in the back when she was caught.
But I digress. It seems to me as though someone can only be considered a true friend, when they don't go past that line you have set up in the beginnings of the friendship. And the only way to find this out, is for time to carry on, and let this person go either way.
Of course, other people have experienced the best friend wrath as I have. And most of us more than likely spend our time afterwards finding it hard to ever trust somebody again. I for one, have found my old friends, with whom I parted ways with years ago, and circumstance has brought us back together. Of course, as we never parted ways on bad or willing terms, it just happened our lives took us in different directions, we are able to renew and continue our lasting friendship, that has, in fact weathered past all the absences of each other in our lives.
These are the kinds of friends that will always be there, regardless of where you are, and what has happened. "Bailing" each other out, helping each other, and being there for each other is essential, and what we do. Because we are a group of friends we can talk openly amongst ourselves, and the unwritten rule that what we say as a group stays within the group, is upheld. Unless of course someone asks for external advice.
In essence I suppose, true friends end up being a part of an extended family, that we all love being a part of, and can choose to come and go as we please.
A friend could be someone you turn to in time of need, someone who goes out drinking with you even if they don't like the place your drinking. They could be someone that you have very similar interests with, and similar hobbies. They could be a family member, a school mate, a work colleague or any random person on the street.
There is the infamous "best friend".
Then there are times when that friendship moves on to the next level, and you become "more than friends".
More often than not, your friends, will have other friends. Sometimes you get along with these other circles, sometimes you think, that if given the chance, you would punch the living daylights out of each person one by one, just for the mere satisfaction of bringing them down a peg or two, (note, this is usually an occurence when one of your friends floats between social status circles, and you're the "underdog" and this other group thinks they have it over you).
Then you have those friends that you are embarassed to introduce to your tight knit circles. I am usually this friend, not that its a bad thing. I'm just loud, obnoxious, a smartarse and my shame is non-existant. This can make for some awkward meetings, not for me, but for others, because quite frankly, I don't give a shit.
However, events in the not so recent past have forced me, to redefine my definition of a friend.
Where do lines of friendship begin and end? How do we define when these lines are crossed, or jumped up and down on? How do we, as people, define what and who is truly our friend?
So often do I go to uni, or work, and socialise with my affectionately labeled friends. Some of these I would consider a closer friend than others. Some I just class as a friend because we have the same friends. However I have always prided myself on having a few, close, select friends, with whom my trust and loyalty is permanently embedded in the friendship.
Or so I thought.
This is where the "friend line" needs to be drawn. What can one consider a fair and just line to draw in the friendship sand when building a friendship? Most people I talk to say that friendship is built on trust, loyalty, reliability, and a special form of friend love.
This friend love is unique, and once in a blue moon, can form in real love, but thats another story for another day.
My friend line is drawn in the sand, with these things in mind. As well as confidence and privacy.
For example, if a friend came to me, with boyfriend troubles, the last thing I would do is talk to my other friends about it. Hell, not even the significant other would hear about it unless I needed some advice on how to guide her through her tough time.
Apparently, this loyalty and trust is fast becoming a thing of the past. I have had to rid myself of people around me, whom I cannot place my trust in. Why? Because they were relaying everything going on in my life, not only to their significant other, who works with my significant other, and enjoys stirring shit, but ALL their other friends, who either A) don't know me or B) decided long ago I was some waste of time. The quote "just tell her to fuck off" comes to mind, as something this supposed friend was told by one of her mates, in regards to issues I was having but she couldn't "deal with".
Looking back on it all, I wonder why I thought I was any different to any of her other friends. Her excuse for telling her beloved? "We share everything". Well, that's fine, but that doesn't give you the right to share MY everything with the cock.
She used to tell me all her other friends problems as well. Although, if I spoke to her (merely to get something off my chest), it was "I don't need to hear this, I don't know this person" etc etc. What and you think I care that your speaking to someone whom you have less respect for than you have for me? I really don't want to hear all your other friends problems either, but you lay them out on me all the time.
Perhaps it was because I labelled this particualr person as my best friend, that I failed to see, that I was placed in the same basket as everyone else in her books. Just someone to hang out with when noone else was available, someone to bitch about to all her other friends, and someone to stab in the back when she was caught.
But I digress. It seems to me as though someone can only be considered a true friend, when they don't go past that line you have set up in the beginnings of the friendship. And the only way to find this out, is for time to carry on, and let this person go either way.
Of course, other people have experienced the best friend wrath as I have. And most of us more than likely spend our time afterwards finding it hard to ever trust somebody again. I for one, have found my old friends, with whom I parted ways with years ago, and circumstance has brought us back together. Of course, as we never parted ways on bad or willing terms, it just happened our lives took us in different directions, we are able to renew and continue our lasting friendship, that has, in fact weathered past all the absences of each other in our lives.
These are the kinds of friends that will always be there, regardless of where you are, and what has happened. "Bailing" each other out, helping each other, and being there for each other is essential, and what we do. Because we are a group of friends we can talk openly amongst ourselves, and the unwritten rule that what we say as a group stays within the group, is upheld. Unless of course someone asks for external advice.
In essence I suppose, true friends end up being a part of an extended family, that we all love being a part of, and can choose to come and go as we please.
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